Romance Wednesday: Throwing Down

You know the saying "The best way to a man's heart is through is stomach?"  Well, that's true.  Now, I know we all can't get down like the Neelys but I'm here to tell you that a little effort goes a long way sometimes.  Over the years, I've learned that my husband really appreciates and notices how much I appreciate him when I make his favorite dishes.

Corn w/ green beans, my secret recipe hot wings, French bread topped with  fresh mozarella, baby tomatoes and onion, plain wings (for the kids) and rice.

More importantly, I've worked hard to perfect the dishes and make them to his taste preference.   For example, I like my homemade macaroni to have a little onion in it with bacon sprinkled on top.  However, my husband is not a fan of onion and he has to watch his bacon intake. So, most of the time I'll leave out the onion and if he's had bacon for breakfast, I'll leave that off too.

There's no one key to a successful relationship or marriage.  It takes a combination of things.  And food is one of them.  I always say that love is more of an action than an emotion.  So, I show my love for my husband by throwing down in the kitchen.  

Granted I throw down harder some days more than others but at the end of the day, he knows that part of the reason I cook on daily basis is him.  And likewise there are plenty of times that he goes out of his way to cook for me.  I have to admit that he has all my favorite dishes memorized and executes them to perfection.  

And then there are times we cook together.  Yep, we get all Pat and Gina Neely every so often.  It's part of what keeps our marriage strong, interesting and moving forward.  So, I'm saying you have to be Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart but surprising your wife/husband with one or two of their favorite dishes every so often could have it's benefits.

Do you cook for your spouse? Does your spouse cook for you?

Romance Wednesday: Getting Pampered

Sometimes the stress and pressures of being a mommy to two busy bees, a wife, brand builder and all the other hats I wear takes a toll on me.  It's hard to feel romantic and sexy when I'm running off of five hours of sleep or less.  I'm not even really talking about being sexy and romantic for my husband, but just being able to feel that way about myself personally.

I'm firm believer in the logic that before I can expect someone else to feel or think a certain way about me, I need to feel that same way about myself first.  It's all the energy I give off.  And I need that energy to be real and natural not fake or forced.  This is why I enjoy indulging in the simple pleasures of life when I feel like my self morale is going down.

I don't know about you but I need that 'pick me up' from time to time.  Lately, my favorite morale booster has been pampering myself.  I take great pride in my skincare and love trying out new products.  As a fan of EdenFantasys for over a year now, I've discovered that they have some really great bath and skincare products.  Most recently I decided to try out a few items from their Dona by Jo Collection.

Let me just say that if you enjoy products with mostly 0r 100% all natural ingredients, then this is the collection for you.  Anyways, here are some of the goodies I ordered:

Dona Body Polish (Mangosteen)

I like the term body polish as opposed to body scrub.  Sounds more luxurious and spa like.  The combination of sea salt, natural oils mixed with shaved chunks of passion and mangosteen fruit exfoliates the skin without making it feel like I'm being rubbed raw.  And the smell is so exotic! I love it!  The oils also work to make sure your skin isn't drying out from the combination of the exfoliation and the water.

Dona Body Wash (Pomegranate)

Best lathering body wash I've ever used!  Trust me bar soap has nothing on this.  One pump goes a long way. Again the smell is heavenly and soothing.  Another thing I like about this body wash is that in addition to natural ingredients like pomegranate, green tea and goji, it also has benzyl alcohol.  Benzyl alcohol is often used products to help fight acne.  So, you're not only giving your body wrinkle fighting antioxidants but helping to get rid of and potentially prevent body pimples in the process!

Dona Shave Gel (Acai)

Due to my sensitivity to shaving I've tried a lot of shaving creams and gels.  This makes my top 3 list! I have shaved twice with this stuff since I got it and no irritation or anything. No lie (in my Drake voice).  And it doesn't leave you with that immediate dry and tight skin feeling that shaving can give you.

Dona Massage Oil (Acai)

This is the last product I put on.  My skin is very dry so traditional lotions don't work for me. I have to use oil or petroleum based products to make sure my skin stays hydrated and I don't end up spots of ashy skin before noon.  The massage oil works really and so far the only places I've had to touch up during the day have been my legs and my feet if I'm wearing sandals the rub a lot.  And not to sound like a broken record, the smell is nice.

Overall, I'm very happy that I took a chance and ordered these products as a gift to myself.  It's not often that I spend money on myself.  You know that mommy/wife guilt kicks in sometimes.  Thankfully, I was able to push it to the back of my mind.  When emerge from my spa (ok bathroom), I feel do feel refreshed, sexy and more romantic about myself.

So, to all you other moms, wives, girlfriends and even single ladies, take the time to pamper yourself for you!   Guilt be damned, we're worth it!

Do you pamper yourself?  What are some of your favorite products to use?

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post.  I sincerely enjoy trying out products from EdenFantasys!

Romance Wednesday: Complex Creatures

Source

 "Men are complex creatures whose ways seem just as mysterious to us as ours do to them.  It isn't fair to accuse them of being unromantic or unloving just because their ways of creating romance and expressing love may be different from ours.  My point is, don't expect your husband to be like you.

~Robin McGraw

Inside My Heart: Choosing to Live with Passion and Purpose

During the early years of our courtship, I was always telling people how unromantic my husband was.  He didn't write me love notes or send me poetry.  And he wasn't into buying flowers except on Valentine's Day.

It finally dawned on me after reading this quote in Robin's book that I had been lying all those years.  My husband was romantic.  He just showed in different ways.  His way.

He was always putting extra gas in my car, making sure it was clean and freshly washed.  He would risk having his manhood revoked by watching The Hills with me. And how can I forget about all the mornings he surprised me breakfast!

I've learned to stop expecting him to do romance my way and allow him to love the way HE knows how.

YUMMommy

PS-Don't forget my Farm Rich Giveaway ends this Friday!! 

Romance Wednesday: In Sickness & In Health

One thing that I can say about my husband is that he loves me in sickness and in health.  That was one part of our wedding vows that I knew he truly meant and would uphold without him evening having to say it.  He's nursed me through the flu twice, food poisoning, morning sickness and a slew of common colds.  He's even gotten sick a few times because he was nursing me back to health.

And when he found out that breast cancer runs pretty common in my family, I will have you all know that every so often he checks in to make sure that I am doing my daily breast exams.  Not only that but he also went so far as to get cancer insurance with his job.  "Better safe than sorry," he said.  Now, to me that's real love.

I just want to say that if you aren't encouraging your spouse to take measures to prevent breast cancer then you should start today.  Don't wait for a doctor to stumble across it or for them to get sick.

Romance Wednesday: I Promise Constitution

A few months back my mom got me a marriage book called I Promise You Forver by Dr. Gary Smalley.  It's an amazing book and I recommend that every couple pick it up and read it.  Anyways, the first page of the book is the I Promise Constitution and I thought that I would share it with you all for Romance Wednesday.  Hopefully, this constitution will inspire you to change a few things about how you participate in your marriage.

I Promise Constitution

PREAMBLE: When we wed I committed to love and cherish you all the days of my life, and I affirm that commitment today.  I love you dearly, more than life itself.  I honor you and place you above all other people in my life.  My goal is to create in our marriage a place of safety and security in which you and I can share everything without fear and grow together in deeper love and intimacy.  To confirm my commitment to this goal, I willingly make these five solemn promises to you.

I PROMISE to conform my beliefs to God's truth.  I will gain control of my outlook, emotions, and happiness by continually examining my deepest beliefs and striving to make them consisent  with  what God's Word says.  I take sole responsibility for my beliefs with the understanding that they, not you, determine my emotions, expectations, and actions.  Thus I lift from you the burden of being responsible for me.

I PROMISE to be filled by God.  I will keep God in my heart as my source of joy and love.  My love for you will be His love flowing through me.  And I will receive your love as overflow from Him.  I will base the security of our marriage on making Christ my boss.  I will strive to conform to His image and follow all His commands, especially the one to love you and care for you all the days of my life.

I PROMISE to find God's best in every trial.  I give you the security of knowing that the negative things that happen in our marriage will not destroy my love for you.  I will not expect perfection from you, but will use even the irritations between us as opportunities to see my blind spots and foster my personal growth.  I will call on the power of Christ to root out my weaknesses.

I PROMISE to listen and communicate with love.  I will value every word you speak as a window to your heart.  I will honor your opinions, feelings, needs and beliefs so that you will feel free to speak honestly and openly will full security in my love for you.  I will be open with you in communicating my heart and will consider your feelings and needs in all my words.

I PROMISE to serve you all the days of my life.  I will fight all tendencies toward selfishness in me and focus on keeping you, your needs, and your goals before me at all times.  I will serve you willingly and wholeheartedly, just as Christ served His disciples not only in small, humble ways but also by giving His life for them and for us as well.

PS: Don't forget to check out Plum District.

Romance Wednesday

Since, my husband and I didn't have a traditional wedding, we never had a first dance.  However, if and when we do, we've both agreed that this will be our wedding song.  I think it sums up how we both feel about each other.  Take listen.s

Romance Wednesday: One in a Million

So, my one year wedding anniversary is a few weeks away and I'm super excited.  Can't believe that we've been married almost a year.  Time fly by so quickly.  And I can truly say that the love my husband gives me is one in a million.  And so, I dedicate this song to him.

Romance Wednesday: Couponing

You know how they say that a family who prays together stays together?  Well, one of my new mottos is that a  couple who coupons together saves forever.  There are so many different things that I love about husband and one of those things is that he's always been supportive of my couponing and helping us to save money.  And as of late he's been taking an interest to learning how to coupon as well so that he can do some of the shopping.  

There are times when I don't feel like going grocery shopping.  So, it helps to have a husband who will pick up that slack and do it for me.  You don't have to try to be like those extreme couponers but if you use a certain brand and there's coupon in the Sunday paper for it why not save money on that item.  Over time that money adds up.  You could use that to take a second honeymoon or even plan a vow renewal ceremony.

Whatever the case is, just know that money issues are the number one cause for marital issues.  And if you're both on board with saving money then you're minimizing your chances on arguing over money.

Romance Wednesday: Candy

Today, I got my husband one of his favorite candies.

Some time it's the small things like doing this that helps to keep a marriage fresh.  It shows your spouse that they're always on your mind and that you do notice the little unspoken things.  

Romance Wednesday: Motivation

When it comes to motivation, some people are motivated by money, fame, food, etc.  But nobody motivates me harder than my husband.  He's always in my corner and has seen me through some of the darkest times in my life.  Plus, he works and hustles so hard for our family.

Likewise,I know that motivate him.  He knows my story and all that I've been through in my life. He knows that  I need safe and secure.  So, he makes sure that he is providing that in any way that he can.

When you motivate each other you become better people.  And can truly say that we are both better people.  Nothing sums it up better than this throw back from Fabolous featuring Ne-yo.

Next week, I'll post a linky so we can all link up our Romance Wednesday posts.

Romance Wednesday: Hustle

One of the things that I love and found attractive about my husband is that he's a hustler.  He's gets his hustle and grind on everyday.  No, I'm not talking about the slinging dope or selling crack type of hustle.  Trust me, his hustle is all 100% legal and legit. 

Growing up without his parents having any positive involvement in his life, he pretty much raised himself.  He decided that instead of going down the wrong path like those around him, he was going to hustle in a positive way.  He was going to hustle and make something of himself.  And he did!!  So, I'm sure that a few of you might be familiar with this song below. 

I dedicate it to my hustler-my husband. Thank you for always holding it down for the family!!

Romance Wednesday: Support

As you all know, it's National Breastfeeding Awareness Month!!  And I am a breastfeeding mom.  Today also happens to Romance Wednesday.  So, I've decided to combine the two.  

I started breastfeeding in 2008 when Moo was born.  For me formula wasn't even an option.  It's my belief that breastfeeding is how God intended for us to feed and nurture our children if were able to.  Not to mention, I had an allergy to diary throughout my entire pregnancy and figured that my baby was most likely allergic.  I'm not even sure how my strong desire to be a breastfeeding mother started or where it came from.

I just know that one day my husband and I were talking about things we wanted to do after the baby was born.  He asked if I was going to breastfeed or use formula and I replied "Breastfeed."  I didn't even take a moment to think about it.  The words just kind of rolled off my tongue.  I was kind of shocked at how certain and confident I felt about my choice.

At first, my husband wasn't on board with the whole idea of me breastfeeding.  His fear was what every man's fear is---the changing of the boobs. LOL. I just had to break it down to him that I was breastfeeding end of discussion.  If my boobs changing was going to be an issue then he could walk.  He sobered up quickly.

Knowing how he felt about breastfeeding, I was kind of shocked that when I came home from the hospital he was so supportive.  That first night was rough.  I was sore from my stitches and the whole getting up and out of bed was not going to work.  Thankfully, my husband did all the getting up and out of bed.  We weren't initially going to co-sleep, but it somehow morphed into just that. (Later post.)

I kept waiting for him to pressure me to switch to formula but he didn't.  He stuck right by me.  He kept my ice packs frozen to help with my engorgement, made sure I was comfortable and did store runs for milk pads and nipple cream.  And when my mom (who I thought would have been my biggest supporter) turned out to be the one who kept hounding me about putting Moo on soy formula or pumping only, it was my husband who stood up for me.  

Breastfeeding showed us both somethings.  It showed me that I could follow through on a long term commitment and that he really was my biggest supporter.  It showed him that he wasn't with me because of my boobs.  He was with me because of who I was and not what my assets looked like.

Here I am on round two and he's even more supportive than ever.  We did have a little power struggle early on but like last time he realized breastfeeding was truly what was best for us and JJ.  So, ladies don't give up on breastfeeding if it's what you want to do. So, what your partner or family doesn't support you.  Keep doing it and eventually they'll either get on board or shut up about it.

Men, the same way you like for us to be understanding of your video game and sports habits, we expect the same when it comes to breastfeeding.