And I Said Yes

We had decided to take a break from unpacking our new apartment.  It just seemed like we were barely making a dent in eliminating the sea of boxes stacked up everywhere.  So, instead of getting ourselves even more overwhelmed than we already were, we decided to make it a family movie night!  Thank goodness the public libraries here have a great movie collection because the cable people hadn't yet come out to hook everything up.

Anyways, we set Moo up to watch The Muppets in the living room (JJ was asleep) and then we watched Red Tails and Horrible Bosses in the second bedroom.  It's right off the living room and I could watch Moo to make sure she stayed on the couch.  The Mr and I don't get tons of time to be alone.  So, despite the mess around us, it was nice to snuggle and have a little romantic moment.

Anyways, we're watching Red Tails.  By the way if you haven't seen this movie definitely see it.  I give it two thumbs up.  It's about the Tuskegee airmen (African American pilots) who were finally given a chance to really serve our country in Italy during World War II.  Add this to your list of movies to watch during Black History Month.

We're watching the part of the movie where one of the characters, Lighting, proposes to his Italian girlfriend, Sofia.  It was a really sweet moment because of course he's kind of portrayed as being a ladies man.  So, I wasn't expecting him to really settle down, but hey love can change you.  I won't spoil the movie and tell you what she said, but here's the conversation the Mr and I had afterwards.

The Mr: "Would you marry me?"

Me:  "Umm.... I'm pretty sure I already did that."

The Mr:  "I know that. But would you marry me again?"

Me: "You don't want to get married again."  (Our first attempt at planning a wedding was a disaster.  He hated everything about the whole process except for the food tasting part.)

The Mr:  "No, I'm serious.  I want us to renew our vows."

I still thought he was kind of joking but he kept talking about and finally I realized he was serious.  

The Mr:  "So, do you want to marry me? Again?"

Me: "Yes!"

This mama is one happy bride-to-be again!  I've always dreamed of having an actual wedding and to finally have him want that to is exciting beyond belief.  We definitely won't be doing the wedding this year because our wedding anniversary is less than a month away, but I'm looking forward to possibly walking down the aisle the next year to exchange vows with the love of my life again.  This time around, I'm not trying to plan something huge.  I want it small, intimate but grand and elegant.  We've overcome a lot and I think renewing our vows is the perfect way to celebrate our victory.

I'll be sure to keep you all updated on everything as we go along!

Would you marry your spouse all over again?

Thankful Thursday

"I know why families were created with all their imperfections.  They humanize you.  They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed."

 ~Anais Nin

I'm definitely thankful for the imperfections of my family sometimes.  In all honesty, not having the perfect family has made my life better in many ways.  I'm a more humble and grateful person because of our imperfections.  I don't take things for granted and know that every moment should be cherished no matter how minuscule or grand it may be. 

Me and the Best Man

I'm thankful that this past weekend, our family had to opportunity to come together to celebrate my older sister's wedding in New Orleans.  I'm telling you, a 13 hour road trip will definitely strengthen the bonds of a family.  We laughed and fussed but when it was all said and done, nobody wanted the trip to end.  We all enjoyed each other's company and the adventure.  I'm already thinking about where we can go to take our next road trip.

This trip showed me how important it is to not only make memories within just my own little family but to also put forth the effort to make more memories with my extended family.  My aunts and uncles aren't getting any younger.  We don't have huge family dinners like we used or even all get together under one roof for the holidays like we used.  And I miss that and I didn't realize how much I was craving it until our New Orleans trip.

I'm thankful that my sister had a beautiful wedding and that I was able to be a part of it and help make her day even more special.  I wish her and my new brother in-law a lifetime of wedded bliss and happiness!

What are you thankful for this week?

Desperate For Love

Did anybody watch Love & Hip Hop Atlanta?  Now, I know that it seems like VH1 just has it out for Black people looking like fools but honestly I thought this show was going to be a little more classy for some reason.  Every show has drama but I couldn't even finish watching it after I saw Mimi pretty much allowing herself to be degraded on national tv.  In case, you didn't watch, she's dating this dude named Stevie and he's pretty much been cheating on her their entire 15 year relationship.

And the thing that got me is that she knew.  I'm sorry but I have standards and I'm not about to overlook no man's creeping regardless of how much money he has or how much I think I love him.  Love is an action not emotion and his actions have clearly being saying that he couldn't give two rats about her.  Did I mention they have a two year old daughter?

If I was crazy enough to stay with somebody like that, we certainly wouldn't be having unprotected sex.  AIDS and HIV is catching!!  I know people want to talk about it's 2012, but sleeping around is never cute no matter how fun and hip it looked on Sex & the City.  And she was all talking about it's part of the lifestyle of being an entertainer.  Says who?

There are plenty of people in the business who have morals and self respect and respect for their partner.  They don't have to cheat and knock up other women.  In the end, I had to stop watching last night's episode because the message that Mimi was sending out didn't sit well with me.  

You don't have to be so desperate for love that you lower yourself to being somebody's play thing.  Trust me, I was almost that young girl.  Thank goodness I was able to catch myself.  I don't want to sound holier than thou (because Lord knows I'm not), but the Bible tells us what love is SUPPOSE to be in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and Stevie's "love" for Mimi isn't any of those things!

Did you watch?  Could you overlook 15 years of cheating?

It's My Anniversary

Romance Wednesday: I Promise Constitution

A few months back my mom got me a marriage book called I Promise You Forver by Dr. Gary Smalley.  It's an amazing book and I recommend that every couple pick it up and read it.  Anyways, the first page of the book is the I Promise Constitution and I thought that I would share it with you all for Romance Wednesday.  Hopefully, this constitution will inspire you to change a few things about how you participate in your marriage.

I Promise Constitution

PREAMBLE: When we wed I committed to love and cherish you all the days of my life, and I affirm that commitment today.  I love you dearly, more than life itself.  I honor you and place you above all other people in my life.  My goal is to create in our marriage a place of safety and security in which you and I can share everything without fear and grow together in deeper love and intimacy.  To confirm my commitment to this goal, I willingly make these five solemn promises to you.

I PROMISE to conform my beliefs to God's truth.  I will gain control of my outlook, emotions, and happiness by continually examining my deepest beliefs and striving to make them consisent  with  what God's Word says.  I take sole responsibility for my beliefs with the understanding that they, not you, determine my emotions, expectations, and actions.  Thus I lift from you the burden of being responsible for me.

I PROMISE to be filled by God.  I will keep God in my heart as my source of joy and love.  My love for you will be His love flowing through me.  And I will receive your love as overflow from Him.  I will base the security of our marriage on making Christ my boss.  I will strive to conform to His image and follow all His commands, especially the one to love you and care for you all the days of my life.

I PROMISE to find God's best in every trial.  I give you the security of knowing that the negative things that happen in our marriage will not destroy my love for you.  I will not expect perfection from you, but will use even the irritations between us as opportunities to see my blind spots and foster my personal growth.  I will call on the power of Christ to root out my weaknesses.

I PROMISE to listen and communicate with love.  I will value every word you speak as a window to your heart.  I will honor your opinions, feelings, needs and beliefs so that you will feel free to speak honestly and openly will full security in my love for you.  I will be open with you in communicating my heart and will consider your feelings and needs in all my words.

I PROMISE to serve you all the days of my life.  I will fight all tendencies toward selfishness in me and focus on keeping you, your needs, and your goals before me at all times.  I will serve you willingly and wholeheartedly, just as Christ served His disciples not only in small, humble ways but also by giving His life for them and for us as well.

PS: Don't forget to check out Plum District.

It's My Anniversary Week

My first wedding anniversary is coming up this Friday and I am beyond stoked.  It might have taken us almost 6 years to get hitched but we finally did it.  And we did on our terms.  And I already kicked off my anniversary week right yesterday by choosing happiness. (Read the post.)

I can't put into words the overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment that I feel to have made it this far.  After all a lot marriages don't survive their first year.  So, this is a huge milestone. 

How are we playing to celebrate you ask?  Dinner, a little shopping, gift exchanging and a movie.  And we're choosing to share this joyous milestone with Moo and JJ.  I know that a lot couples like to be alone on their anniversaries but we feel that it is important for us to show our kids that things like marriage need to be celebrated.  Also, I come from a family where divorce and unhappy marriages is very high.  I want to break that cycle.

There are things you can do to rekindle your marriage other than divorce and finding another spouse.  I can tell you from experience that relationships are hard work and marriage is even harder.  It's not going to be all rainbows and sparks all the time.  And there will be times when you feel like you don't love your spouse anymore but remember love is more of an action than a feeling.  You just have to be willing to follow through and not get caught up in a "The Grass Is Greener Complex."

Anyways, just a little reminder that the first 5 of you to sign up for Plum District using this link will receive $10 in Plum Cash.  Plum District is a daily deals site specifically created for and with moms in mind.  They have some really awesome deals and I'm actually taking advantage of one of them and getting my first ever gel manicure!!  And making this deal sweeter is the fact this week (Mon- Fri) you save an extra 30% off any local or everywhere deal on the site for the Share the Love friends and family promotion.

That's awesome since they already offer amazing daily savings of 50-80% off.  So, don't miss out on this great savings.  Find anything from restaurants and spas, to great deals on activities for kids and families.  Head over and get signed now!!

Thinking back to your first wedding anniversary, how excited were you?

Romance Wednesday

Since, my husband and I didn't have a traditional wedding, we never had a first dance.  However, if and when we do, we've both agreed that this will be our wedding song.  I think it sums up how we both feel about each other.  Take listen.s

Romance Wednesday: Love Letters

In today's society love letters are almost extinct in most relationships.  Long gone are the days of waking up to find a little love note laying on your pillow.  Well, in my household I am fighting to keep this ancient art alive.  As you can tell, I am very good with expressing myself through the written word.

My husband did not grow in the most loving environment as a child.  And being in foster care he never really got to witness what a great marriage could be like.  That portrait of how a man should love a woman wasn't painted for him.  Hell, he barely felt the love that parents and relatives should have for a child.

Thus, he tends to need to be reassured that he is loved and that I am still in love with him.  And what better way to do so than through a love letter.  Our relationship has weathered many storms but through them all I never fell out of love with my husband.  He is one of a kind.

And strive everyday to let him know it.  There's nothing I enjoy more than sitting down with nice stationery and pouring my heart out to him.  In that moment I feel so uninhibited.  And the rush of emotions I get from watching read why letters is indescribable.

I try to surprise him. I might leave them in his lunch bag, on the driver seat of the car, the bed, etc.  I've even mailed him love letters. I hope that we can pass this art on to our children. 

Our boys and girls need to know the proper techniques to express their love.  So many of them feel they have to turn to sex and you don't.  A love letter is just as intimate.  It gets right to the point.

   When was the last time you wrote your spouse a love letter?

An Affirmation of My Love

I'm sure that by now we've all seen the mountains of Valentine's Day merchandise at the stores.  Our CVS started setting their merchandise during the Christmas holiday.  And of course, I've already asked the hubby if he wanted anything special.  He said no he didn't want, but that he'd treat me to a nice romantic dinner, a movie, a card and flowers (if I wanted them cuz I'm not really a flowers type girl).

His response got me to thinking a little bit.  Exactly what does Valentine's Day mean to me?  Judging from my husband's response, I have been putting out this message that it's all about the gifts and it's truly not.  He didn't say that but his rambling off all the stuff he was going to give me and him wanting nothing in return kind of implied that.

So, I'll ask again.  What does Valentine's Day mean to me?  Honestly, Valentine's Day for me is a day to reaffirm my love, passion and desire for my husband and my gratitude for all that he does.  I know that we should show the people in our lives that we love them all the time, but life gets busy.

There are days that I don't tell him how much I love him.  It's not because I don't want to but because I get sidetracked with the laundry, mommy duty or we've had a fight and I'm mad.  And with him being in law enforcement working around criminals who have stolen, molested and even killed people is the number one reason I should tell him everyday that I love him.  Each day he goes to work and puts himself in harm's way would be the last we see him (worst case scenario).  Just thinking about it gets me emotional.

Therefore, I'm thankful that we have a day like Valentine's Day to make up for all days I missed saying 'I Love You' to the love of my life.  The Valentine's cards, the keepsake boxes, the personalized gifts, etc are all just extras.  They show everything else that I can't put into words.  So of course rather than get him nothing like he suggested I am going to surprise with a card, breakfast in bed and a few other gifts.

It just wouldn't be right to receive and not give to the man who gives so much to me and the rest of this community.  I say to everyone reading this, Valentine's Day is not about the gifts, but who you spend it with and what they mean to you!  Cherish your loved ones while you can and try to remember to let them know that you love them everyday!

*This post is sponsored by Shutterfly.  All views and opinions expressed are strictly my own and not influenced in any way by said party above.* 

Thankful Thursday

Summer is coming to a close and school will soon be in for many of us.  And as I take time to reflect on my summer, I have to admit that it has been a good one.  Therefore, this Thursday I am thankful for:

• Having had an amazing summer and for being able to help touch the lives some underprivileged youth in the process;
• Reclaiming my life, my dreams and my focus.  I feel like each day I am getting closer to living the vision I've always pictured for my life;
• Finally, recommitting to the love of my life and being willing to take that next step in our relationship;
• Being a better communicator.  I don't shut down nearly as much as I used to.  This blog has helped me to open up so much;
• Having such an awesome family.  We don't always see eye to eye or agree with each others' lifestyles but at the end of the day we still have each others' backs!

Hopefully, you all have something to be thankful for today even if it's just your life, health and strength.  Be blessed beyond belief!!

Random Thoughts

Ok, I have been totally slacking on my blog posts this week.  I'm kind of mad at myself for missing my Wishful Wednesday post too.  I mean I had written something really private and touching out, but somehow never got around to typing and posting it.  Yes, I still prewrite the old fashion way with a notepad and a pen. Somehow, I just feel like my thoughts flow more naturally without the click and clack of the key board to disturb me.  Not to mention, I can't see all those red lines that lets me know how bad my spelling has gotten since I graduated from JWU.

Anyways, I will back next Wednesday with my Wishful post. But today, was just wonderful.  I love, love, love family. And mine is the coolest.  We have our moments when we can stand each other like everybody else, but at the end of the day we love each other to death.  And today was a cause for celebration.  My niece, Miss O, graduated from Pre-K!!!

Yes, it's very exciting I know. Just being back in that school made a rush of memories explode in my head. I remember going to Pre-K and Kindergarten there and my graduation.  Although, my graduation from Pre-K was bittersweet.  I was excited because I was moving up and becoming a big kid, but sad as looked at the empty chair next to me where my first best friend was suppose to be.  During our Spring Break, he was killed in a hit and run accident down the street and around the corner from where I lived. 

My parents knew I would be heart broken and couldn't break the news to me.  So, my aunt, who was also my teacher, told me the last day of our Spring Break.  I was devastated.  Actually, I was beyond devastated.  For two days I turned into a mute and couldn't go home.  So, I stayed with my other aunt (Lill), who was my 2nd mommy, for a week.  I remember her asking me if I wanted to go to the funeral and I shook my head no.

She asked if I was sure and said that she didn't want me to regret it later.  I still said no. Over the course of the school year, Bill had become more than my first bff.  He was the first boy I kissed and fell head over heals in love with.  Yes, I was in love at the ripe age of 5. LOL.  I can't explain it, but I was very intelligent and mature for my 5 years of age.  Somehow, I knew it was love that I felt for him and that it was different from the love that I felt for my other friends, my family and my parents.

And the fact that he was white and I was black with a mixture of Native American and white didn't matter to us.  Probably because we were kids and we both had parents who didn't see color but people and raised us the same.  To this day, I don't regret not going to Bill's funeral.  I know that he wants me to remember him the way was and not have that image tainted by death.  Years later when I was junior high school, I penned a few poems in memory of him for my English class.  Even now that I'm older, have a child of my own and somewhat of a relationship with another man who has captured my heart, I still find myself thinking of my departed friend.

I wonder what if he would have lived?  Would have been high school sweethearts?  Hell, would our love have even survived past the summer before our Kindergarten year?  I never got to find out.  But if God allows us to see another lifetime once the coming of Christ has happened and the Earth is rendered empty, I pray that he gives us the chance to find out.

Love at 1st Sight

So, I went with my mom and niece to the doctor earlier today-Moo in tow of course.  And it was here that I was first introduced to the wonderful and very useful Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine.  Well, while waiting for my niece and Mom to resurface from the back, I fell in love.  And not it was not with some hot dad in the waiting room because there were none and have never been any.  It was the Maclaren Techno XT stroller.

Yes, you read right.  I fell in love with a stroller!!!  This is not just any stroller.  It's like heaven in a lite weight stroller.

My Moo has reached the age where a full travel system stroller is not a day to day necessity or all that feasible to carry around in the trunk.  Especially considering the fact that we are a family that likes to haul a lot of junk in our trunk. You could say that I am in the market for a new set of wheels for Moo.  And being the writer-creative type, I'm always carrying a load of stuff-notebooks, reading books, magazines, cell phones ( I have more than one), cups, more books.  Therefore, I need a stroller that while lite weight and compact is still sturdy enough and roomy enough to store my items.  After all you never know when a good idea will hit you.

And when I saw that Techno XT, I knew it would be the perfect stroller for Moo and I.  I mean it has handlebars that are adjustable!!  Do you know how wonderful that is for a person is slightly on the taller side of things?  I've tried other compact strollers and hated being stooped over like a hunchback.  I'm too young to be developing a bad back.

Moo is also an avid on the go eater.  Therefore, her heavy stroller has taken a lot of spills and smears. But since it doesn't have a removable seat like the Techno XT, I've had to hose it down outside and hit with the hair dryer to clean it.  I can imagine Moo being well protected from the sun under its wide top canopy. The best feature by far of the Techno XT is that if fully reclines.  This would come in handy on those days when she falls asleep after a long walk in the park.

But unfortunately my dream bubble was burst when I saw the $289 price tag.  I'm a single mommy on a budget.  One that can't afford a $289 stroller no matter how fantastic and amazing it is.  So, I guess I'll have to settle for just posting it on my cork board to gaze upon every morning and evening in hopes that maybe one day we will meet in person.