YGM2: DIY Vow Renewal Series

A about a week ago, I announced that the Mr and I have decided that we want to renew our vows.  If you didn't see that post you can check out the re-proposal here!  Anyways, it got me to thinking that maybe I should chronicle this journey here on YUMMommy.  Now I had already planned to write about the important stuff like finding my dress, what our new wedding bands will look like and all that other good stuff.  But then I saw from the comments and a few tweets that a few you wanted me to do a whole series.  And I thought 'why not?'

Behold YUMMommy Getting Married: DIY Vow Renewal Series!  I'm really excited about this series because for starters I love all things wedding and love related.  I'm a hopeless romantic at heart and when the Mr and I decided to elope instead of having a wedding, I was a little bit heartbroken about it.  Every woman has dreamed since she was probably 4 or 6 about what her wedding day would be like.  I was no different.

But when we first tried trying to plan a wedding after we got engaged there was just way too much going on in our lives.  Then I got pregnant with Moo.  And from there y'all know stuff kind of fell apart and we ended our relationship for a year.  But when we decided to get back together, we were so determined to make it 'official' that we just kind of skipped over the idea of planning wedding and just eloped.   Not to mention, I had found out that I was pregnant with JJ.  So, I wasn't really going to be in the mood or shape to plan some huge affair.

This time around though is different.  We're in a good place.  Our third wedding anniversary is coming up next month.  And the best part of all is that I'm not pregnant and don't plan on being pregnant until the end of 2014 or early 2015.  So, no worries there.

However, the one worry that I do have is budget.  Weddings, even vow renewals, are known to be a bit on the expensive end.  And we're not ballin'.  Not yet anyway.  It's like as soon as you mention the word wedding prices for flowers, cakes and clothes doubles and in some cases triples.  So, I've decided diy and hustle as much stuff for this vow renewal as I can.  

Part of the reason is because I really want to be able to splurge on the reception location and food.  At the end of the day if nothing else goes right on the day of, I want to be comfortable (not too hot, not too cold) and I want to be able to eat my share of delicious food.  We're keeping it kind of small and intimate in terms of the guest list.  So, I'm really confident that things are going to fall into place.  

I will be using my blogging/networking connections to get deals and hookups anyway and anywhere I can.  There is no shame in my planning.  And speaking of networking, if you're currently blogging (or have blogged) about your wedding/vow renewal ceremony be sure to let me know here.  I'd love to show you some love and spotlight your posts in the YUMMommy Getting Married Facebook and Google+ albums.  I'll also be giving out retweets and blog shoutouts.  Think of it as my way of spreading the bloggy love!

Whelp see ya next week for another YGM2 post!

And I Said Yes

We had decided to take a break from unpacking our new apartment.  It just seemed like we were barely making a dent in eliminating the sea of boxes stacked up everywhere.  So, instead of getting ourselves even more overwhelmed than we already were, we decided to make it a family movie night!  Thank goodness the public libraries here have a great movie collection because the cable people hadn't yet come out to hook everything up.

Anyways, we set Moo up to watch The Muppets in the living room (JJ was asleep) and then we watched Red Tails and Horrible Bosses in the second bedroom.  It's right off the living room and I could watch Moo to make sure she stayed on the couch.  The Mr and I don't get tons of time to be alone.  So, despite the mess around us, it was nice to snuggle and have a little romantic moment.

Anyways, we're watching Red Tails.  By the way if you haven't seen this movie definitely see it.  I give it two thumbs up.  It's about the Tuskegee airmen (African American pilots) who were finally given a chance to really serve our country in Italy during World War II.  Add this to your list of movies to watch during Black History Month.

We're watching the part of the movie where one of the characters, Lighting, proposes to his Italian girlfriend, Sofia.  It was a really sweet moment because of course he's kind of portrayed as being a ladies man.  So, I wasn't expecting him to really settle down, but hey love can change you.  I won't spoil the movie and tell you what she said, but here's the conversation the Mr and I had afterwards.

The Mr: "Would you marry me?"

Me:  "Umm.... I'm pretty sure I already did that."

The Mr:  "I know that. But would you marry me again?"

Me: "You don't want to get married again."  (Our first attempt at planning a wedding was a disaster.  He hated everything about the whole process except for the food tasting part.)

The Mr:  "No, I'm serious.  I want us to renew our vows."

I still thought he was kind of joking but he kept talking about and finally I realized he was serious.  

The Mr:  "So, do you want to marry me? Again?"

Me: "Yes!"

This mama is one happy bride-to-be again!  I've always dreamed of having an actual wedding and to finally have him want that to is exciting beyond belief.  We definitely won't be doing the wedding this year because our wedding anniversary is less than a month away, but I'm looking forward to possibly walking down the aisle the next year to exchange vows with the love of my life again.  This time around, I'm not trying to plan something huge.  I want it small, intimate but grand and elegant.  We've overcome a lot and I think renewing our vows is the perfect way to celebrate our victory.

I'll be sure to keep you all updated on everything as we go along!

Would you marry your spouse all over again?

Thankful Thursday

We're down to our last handful of Thankful Thursdays for 2012.  Can you guys believe it?  I can't.   I'm so happy I made this a weekly feature on YUMMommy.  It's so easy to get caught up on what you DON'T have instead of focusing on and being grateful for what you DO have.

This week I'm thankful that I finally worked up the nerve to cut my hair again.  I had been going natural for a little over three years when I got the genius idea to try out this chemical curl softner.  And I thought since it was designed for kids that it would be perfect to use on my easily irritated scalp.  Wrong!

Long story short, after the second use I started noticing my hair was shedding like crazy.  It had tons of split ends, stayed drier than normal and the ends were a bit crunchy.  In the end, I would have done better just keeping my money in my pocket.  But since I was trying to avoid using heat to straighten my hair some, I thought it would be healthier in the long run to try the product.  Lesson learned.

I'm actually enjoying my shorter do.  It's shorter than the last time I went short.  I've been trying out the Curly Girl Method for about a week and a half now.  And while my hair feels softer, I'm not sure how long I'll stick with it because I enjoy my current shampoos and conditioning products but they aren't Curly Girl friendly.

I'm thankful that Moo will be turning four this weekend!!  Super excited to celebrate her birthday.  I can't believe I'm the mom of a four year now.  It's so surreal.  Looking forward to decking out her birthday cake with tons of princess decorations!!  She's going to go bananas when she sees it.

I'm also thankful that I've survived this NaBloPoMo challenge for the month of November.  It's a lot of work posting everyday.  However, it has definitely made me a better writer.  I've enjoyed sharing more about my personal life and my motherhood experience with you all.  I've gotten so much feedback and advice this month from some of my posts.

I'm also thankful for the new blog followers I got this month..  It's comforting to know that I'm reaching people and not just on here rambling to empty web space.  I'm thankful that the kids are going to bed a little earlier this week. We had a few late nights but for the most part they've been down and sleep before 11 PM!!

Most importantly, I'm thankful to have an amazing husband who knows me better than almost anyone.  He recognized that we've been a little disconnected lately and is committed to rebuilding that connection and becoming more present in the day to day activities around the house.  Marriage and any lasting relationship takes work. I'm always thankful to have a spouse who's willing to do the work with me.

What are you sending up thanks for this week?

Romance Wednesday: Throwing Down

You know the saying "The best way to a man's heart is through is stomach?"  Well, that's true.  Now, I know we all can't get down like the Neelys but I'm here to tell you that a little effort goes a long way sometimes.  Over the years, I've learned that my husband really appreciates and notices how much I appreciate him when I make his favorite dishes.

Corn w/ green beans, my secret recipe hot wings, French bread topped with  fresh mozarella, baby tomatoes and onion, plain wings (for the kids) and rice.

More importantly, I've worked hard to perfect the dishes and make them to his taste preference.   For example, I like my homemade macaroni to have a little onion in it with bacon sprinkled on top.  However, my husband is not a fan of onion and he has to watch his bacon intake. So, most of the time I'll leave out the onion and if he's had bacon for breakfast, I'll leave that off too.

There's no one key to a successful relationship or marriage.  It takes a combination of things.  And food is one of them.  I always say that love is more of an action than an emotion.  So, I show my love for my husband by throwing down in the kitchen.  

Granted I throw down harder some days more than others but at the end of the day, he knows that part of the reason I cook on daily basis is him.  And likewise there are plenty of times that he goes out of his way to cook for me.  I have to admit that he has all my favorite dishes memorized and executes them to perfection.  

And then there are times we cook together.  Yep, we get all Pat and Gina Neely every so often.  It's part of what keeps our marriage strong, interesting and moving forward.  So, I'm saying you have to be Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart but surprising your wife/husband with one or two of their favorite dishes every so often could have it's benefits.

Do you cook for your spouse? Does your spouse cook for you?

7 Years Rocking

Source

This past Thursday, the Mr and I celebrated our 7th year of going steady.  Wow, I can't believe it's been that long.  I feel kind of oldish.  In today's society, seven years is a long time.  Some marriages don't even last that long.

I'm very blessed that I've been able to experience seven years of ups and downs with my husband. So, in celebration of seven years together here are seven things I love about my honey.

1-He's a go-getter!  He's not afraid to go after what he wants.

2-He takes pride in his look.  There's nothing sexier than a guy with great fashion swag.

3-His sense of humor.  I can be a very serious person sometimes.  So, we balance each other out.  Even though sometimes he can overboard, I think that if he was as serious as I was we'd be at each other's throat.

4-He's a great father.  I think his determination to be the parent he never had is what drives him to be so involved with our children and providing them with the best.

5-He's a great kisser.  A bad kisser is a deal breaker for me.

6-We like the same movies!

7-He loves me for who I am!  This is major because so many people try to change their spouses.  I'm truly fortunate that for the most part my husband lets me be myself and he accepts it.

What do you love about your spouse/mate?

PS-Don't forget to check out my giveaway!!

Romance Wednesday: Complex Creatures

Source

 "Men are complex creatures whose ways seem just as mysterious to us as ours do to them.  It isn't fair to accuse them of being unromantic or unloving just because their ways of creating romance and expressing love may be different from ours.  My point is, don't expect your husband to be like you.

~Robin McGraw

Inside My Heart: Choosing to Live with Passion and Purpose

During the early years of our courtship, I was always telling people how unromantic my husband was.  He didn't write me love notes or send me poetry.  And he wasn't into buying flowers except on Valentine's Day.

It finally dawned on me after reading this quote in Robin's book that I had been lying all those years.  My husband was romantic.  He just showed in different ways.  His way.

He was always putting extra gas in my car, making sure it was clean and freshly washed.  He would risk having his manhood revoked by watching The Hills with me. And how can I forget about all the mornings he surprised me breakfast!

I've learned to stop expecting him to do romance my way and allow him to love the way HE knows how.

YUMMommy

PS-Don't forget my Farm Rich Giveaway ends this Friday!! 

Thankful Thursday

Happy Thankful Thursday!!!  This week started off with a little family time.  Sunday afternoon, I got a nice visit from my mom and niece.  The kids played a little bit and then we hit the road to do a little shopping.  We used coupons of course. (Saving up for my dream vacation).

I'm very thankful that we got to spend that time together.  With me working on my freelance career and other projects that are tied to YUMMommy, I haven't been able to go home in a while.  Moo and JJ enjoyed having Grandma's attention.

I'm also thankful that I handled my bad shopping experience at Walmart well on Monday.  Sadly, this was not my first bad experience with a Walmart store.  I did a little research and found out that a few stores were recently sued for unfair trade and business practices and the consumers were winning.  I think it's sad that Walmart is ripping people off.

But I am really proud of how composed I stayed in front my of kids.  My husband couldn't believe it when I told him about it.  He knows how I feel about my money.  And the fact that I worked in retail for five years, I know all about coupon policies and how important it is for stores to follow all corporate policies.  I've seen people get fired for not doing so.

I'm thankful that this morning my husband told him how much he loves the things I write about him on my blog.  Yes, he reads it.  I'm happy that he continues to support my desire to move forward with my writing career, YUMMommy, all of my charity projects and more.  I'm thankful that our marriage continues to get stronger.

What small happenings are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thursday

It's Thankful Thursday again and this week I am thankful that I had a wonderful one year wedding anniversary with my husband and my kids.  I am truly looking forward to and making plans for our second wedding anniversary already.  I'm thankful that I am breast cancer FREE!!  As you all know it's National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  

And for me this is kind of a sad month because I lost my paternal grandmother and two aunts on my father's side to breast cancer.  I also, lost a great aunt on my mother's side to breast cancer and have watched a few members in my family battle and survive breast cancer.  So, this disease is very serious for me.  I don't take for granted being among those who are breast cancer free because this is a disease that has affected so many women and a few men in my family.

I am also thankful that I had the chance to go back home for a day and visit with my mom.  She enjoyed seeing the kids and couldn't believe how big they've both gotten.  It was nice to see my baby sister on her fall break from college.  She had so many stories to share.  I'm thankful that she's adjusting and making some great friends.

I'm also thankful for all the new followers YUMMommy has.  Thank you so much for liking this blog enough that you've decided to subscribe to it.  I truly appreciate your support and your comments are welcomed!

What are you giving thanks for today?

Romance Wednesday: In Sickness & In Health

One thing that I can say about my husband is that he loves me in sickness and in health.  That was one part of our wedding vows that I knew he truly meant and would uphold without him evening having to say it.  He's nursed me through the flu twice, food poisoning, morning sickness and a slew of common colds.  He's even gotten sick a few times because he was nursing me back to health.

And when he found out that breast cancer runs pretty common in my family, I will have you all know that every so often he checks in to make sure that I am doing my daily breast exams.  Not only that but he also went so far as to get cancer insurance with his job.  "Better safe than sorry," he said.  Now, to me that's real love.

I just want to say that if you aren't encouraging your spouse to take measures to prevent breast cancer then you should start today.  Don't wait for a doctor to stumble across it or for them to get sick.

Tell Us Something Good: Anniversary Recap

So, my husband and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary last Friday.  And we made the choice to celebrate it with our beautiful children, Moo and JJ.  We just really want to demonstrate the importance of celebrating the sacred union that marriage is and is suppose to be.  Anyways, my first gift of the day was that both of the kiddies slept in. 

Can you say score!!  I didn't have to roll out of bed until after 10 AM.  I was supposed to go grocery shopping because our frig was like borderline empty.  To my surprise my husband had already gone.  Another score because when I go I usually have to take Moo because she will whine until I give in.  Thus, it takes me a little bit more time to shop with her in tow because she's picking up stuff off the shelves and I'm busy putting it back.

We did have a little car trouble but that didn't put a damper on our day.  We still got lunch from the Chicken Box.  It's third place my husband took me to eat when we first met.  Well, I should say that we ordered something to eat from because the Chicken Box is a  hole in the wall with an order window and a kitchen.  There is no space to eat inside.  And it's in the hood and you have to get there before the lunch rush.

It's like a hidden treasure and oh so addictive.  My favorite is their Philly Cheese Steak.  I don't have a clue what they season their meat with but it tastes fantastic and it's so juicy and cheesy and the onions....  I could go on and on about this sandwich.  They have some bangin homemade cole slaw too.

We exchanged gifts.  My husband got me some new clothes because let's face it my body is never going to be the same as it was before my kids.  My booty is bigger and boobs are bigger.  Both of which my husband is like yeah baby. LOL.  Me not so much.  I miss the days when I could shop at the Limited Too for cute tops and shorts.

I got him a cool poster for his future man cave.  He had these old beat up slippers that had a holes in the bottom and he walked the back part down.  So, I him a new pair.  These have memory foam in the soles and are nice and thick.  He said they feel like clouds and he's been living in them every waking moment since  I gave them to him. 

I got him some gourmet chocolates too.  We both have a bit of a sweet tooth.  And to round out the gift giving, I got him a magazine subscription.  I can't remember the magazine title but it was Men's something another.  He had complained before that our mailbox is always filled with magazines for me and I wanted to get him something that he could read and enjoy.

He cooked dinner that night and we enjoyed Thor.  I think it was a pretty good movie and can't wait for part 2.  All in all, it was a great day.  Thank you to everyone who sent Happy Anniversary wishes.

It's My Anniversary

Thankful Thursday

Happy Thankful Thursday everyone!!  With tomorrow being my one year wedding anniversary, I am extremely thankful to have married the love of my life.  I'm thankful that we have loving, strong and healthy marriage.  It's not perfect because all relationships experience ups and downs.  I'm thankful that we have had more ups.

And while we're on the subject of my anniversary, Tuesday evening I decided to pack up the kids and go out hunting for some other anniversary gifts for my husband.  It started to pour cats and dogs when I got ready to check out.  So, we had to get out of line and hunt down an umbrella.  Plus, I wanted to waste some time and let it slack up.  Well, I finally checked out.

We headed to car.  I got in and turned to key and nothing.  The battery had died and we were stranded.  Long story short, I ended up calling road side assistance.  But while I waited I prayed to God that the car would start.  To my surprise my husband called me shortly after I told him that road side assistance was on the way and said that he was coming to jump the car.

Out of all people, the landlord just so happen be about and offered to drive him to store and give us a jump. Yes, this is the same landlord that has yet to fix a single thing wrong with rental.  So, I am thankful that although, he might not be the best landlord he has a helpful heart.  But before either of them-my husband or road side assistance-could get to us, something told me to try the car one last time and I did.

Low and behold it started right up without a hitch.  Tell me if God isn't good!! But I waited in the parking lot until my husband showed up and we still let the landlord jump the battery.  We cancelled the road side assistance and headed home for a peaceful night.  I am so thankful for the way God let that situation work out.  He may not come when you want Him but He'll be there right on time.

I'm also thankful that my sister's pregnancy is going well.  So, far she has been experiencing too much morning sickness.  Her baby is due four days after JJ's birthday.    I'm also thankful that my little cousin was able to be released from the hospital.  He still has to check in with the doctors every two weeks so that they can monitor his heart but they think with his medicine and staying on bed rest he should be ok.

But on a sad note, my mom called me with news that cousin passed earlier this week in a motorcycle crash on his birthday.  He was home visiting from college to celebrate with the family.  So, please keep us in your prayers.

What do you have to be thankful for this week? Any unexpected blessings come your way?

Romance Wednesday: I Promise Constitution

A few months back my mom got me a marriage book called I Promise You Forver by Dr. Gary Smalley.  It's an amazing book and I recommend that every couple pick it up and read it.  Anyways, the first page of the book is the I Promise Constitution and I thought that I would share it with you all for Romance Wednesday.  Hopefully, this constitution will inspire you to change a few things about how you participate in your marriage.

I Promise Constitution

PREAMBLE: When we wed I committed to love and cherish you all the days of my life, and I affirm that commitment today.  I love you dearly, more than life itself.  I honor you and place you above all other people in my life.  My goal is to create in our marriage a place of safety and security in which you and I can share everything without fear and grow together in deeper love and intimacy.  To confirm my commitment to this goal, I willingly make these five solemn promises to you.

I PROMISE to conform my beliefs to God's truth.  I will gain control of my outlook, emotions, and happiness by continually examining my deepest beliefs and striving to make them consisent  with  what God's Word says.  I take sole responsibility for my beliefs with the understanding that they, not you, determine my emotions, expectations, and actions.  Thus I lift from you the burden of being responsible for me.

I PROMISE to be filled by God.  I will keep God in my heart as my source of joy and love.  My love for you will be His love flowing through me.  And I will receive your love as overflow from Him.  I will base the security of our marriage on making Christ my boss.  I will strive to conform to His image and follow all His commands, especially the one to love you and care for you all the days of my life.

I PROMISE to find God's best in every trial.  I give you the security of knowing that the negative things that happen in our marriage will not destroy my love for you.  I will not expect perfection from you, but will use even the irritations between us as opportunities to see my blind spots and foster my personal growth.  I will call on the power of Christ to root out my weaknesses.

I PROMISE to listen and communicate with love.  I will value every word you speak as a window to your heart.  I will honor your opinions, feelings, needs and beliefs so that you will feel free to speak honestly and openly will full security in my love for you.  I will be open with you in communicating my heart and will consider your feelings and needs in all my words.

I PROMISE to serve you all the days of my life.  I will fight all tendencies toward selfishness in me and focus on keeping you, your needs, and your goals before me at all times.  I will serve you willingly and wholeheartedly, just as Christ served His disciples not only in small, humble ways but also by giving His life for them and for us as well.

PS: Don't forget to check out Plum District.

It's My Anniversary Week

My first wedding anniversary is coming up this Friday and I am beyond stoked.  It might have taken us almost 6 years to get hitched but we finally did it.  And we did on our terms.  And I already kicked off my anniversary week right yesterday by choosing happiness. (Read the post.)

I can't put into words the overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment that I feel to have made it this far.  After all a lot marriages don't survive their first year.  So, this is a huge milestone. 

How are we playing to celebrate you ask?  Dinner, a little shopping, gift exchanging and a movie.  And we're choosing to share this joyous milestone with Moo and JJ.  I know that a lot couples like to be alone on their anniversaries but we feel that it is important for us to show our kids that things like marriage need to be celebrated.  Also, I come from a family where divorce and unhappy marriages is very high.  I want to break that cycle.

There are things you can do to rekindle your marriage other than divorce and finding another spouse.  I can tell you from experience that relationships are hard work and marriage is even harder.  It's not going to be all rainbows and sparks all the time.  And there will be times when you feel like you don't love your spouse anymore but remember love is more of an action than a feeling.  You just have to be willing to follow through and not get caught up in a "The Grass Is Greener Complex."

Anyways, just a little reminder that the first 5 of you to sign up for Plum District using this link will receive $10 in Plum Cash.  Plum District is a daily deals site specifically created for and with moms in mind.  They have some really awesome deals and I'm actually taking advantage of one of them and getting my first ever gel manicure!!  And making this deal sweeter is the fact this week (Mon- Fri) you save an extra 30% off any local or everywhere deal on the site for the Share the Love friends and family promotion.

That's awesome since they already offer amazing daily savings of 50-80% off.  So, don't miss out on this great savings.  Find anything from restaurants and spas, to great deals on activities for kids and families.  Head over and get signed now!!

Thinking back to your first wedding anniversary, how excited were you?

Romance Wednesday

Since, my husband and I didn't have a traditional wedding, we never had a first dance.  However, if and when we do, we've both agreed that this will be our wedding song.  I think it sums up how we both feel about each other.  Take listen.s

Romance Wednesday: Couponing

You know how they say that a family who prays together stays together?  Well, one of my new mottos is that a  couple who coupons together saves forever.  There are so many different things that I love about husband and one of those things is that he's always been supportive of my couponing and helping us to save money.  And as of late he's been taking an interest to learning how to coupon as well so that he can do some of the shopping.  

There are times when I don't feel like going grocery shopping.  So, it helps to have a husband who will pick up that slack and do it for me.  You don't have to try to be like those extreme couponers but if you use a certain brand and there's coupon in the Sunday paper for it why not save money on that item.  Over time that money adds up.  You could use that to take a second honeymoon or even plan a vow renewal ceremony.

Whatever the case is, just know that money issues are the number one cause for marital issues.  And if you're both on board with saving money then you're minimizing your chances on arguing over money.

Romance Wednesday: Hustle

One of the things that I love and found attractive about my husband is that he's a hustler.  He's gets his hustle and grind on everyday.  No, I'm not talking about the slinging dope or selling crack type of hustle.  Trust me, his hustle is all 100% legal and legit. 

Growing up without his parents having any positive involvement in his life, he pretty much raised himself.  He decided that instead of going down the wrong path like those around him, he was going to hustle in a positive way.  He was going to hustle and make something of himself.  And he did!!  So, I'm sure that a few of you might be familiar with this song below. 

I dedicate it to my hustler-my husband. Thank you for always holding it down for the family!!

Romance Wednesday: Support

As you all know, it's National Breastfeeding Awareness Month!!  And I am a breastfeeding mom.  Today also happens to Romance Wednesday.  So, I've decided to combine the two.  

I started breastfeeding in 2008 when Moo was born.  For me formula wasn't even an option.  It's my belief that breastfeeding is how God intended for us to feed and nurture our children if were able to.  Not to mention, I had an allergy to diary throughout my entire pregnancy and figured that my baby was most likely allergic.  I'm not even sure how my strong desire to be a breastfeeding mother started or where it came from.

I just know that one day my husband and I were talking about things we wanted to do after the baby was born.  He asked if I was going to breastfeed or use formula and I replied "Breastfeed."  I didn't even take a moment to think about it.  The words just kind of rolled off my tongue.  I was kind of shocked at how certain and confident I felt about my choice.

At first, my husband wasn't on board with the whole idea of me breastfeeding.  His fear was what every man's fear is---the changing of the boobs. LOL. I just had to break it down to him that I was breastfeeding end of discussion.  If my boobs changing was going to be an issue then he could walk.  He sobered up quickly.

Knowing how he felt about breastfeeding, I was kind of shocked that when I came home from the hospital he was so supportive.  That first night was rough.  I was sore from my stitches and the whole getting up and out of bed was not going to work.  Thankfully, my husband did all the getting up and out of bed.  We weren't initially going to co-sleep, but it somehow morphed into just that. (Later post.)

I kept waiting for him to pressure me to switch to formula but he didn't.  He stuck right by me.  He kept my ice packs frozen to help with my engorgement, made sure I was comfortable and did store runs for milk pads and nipple cream.  And when my mom (who I thought would have been my biggest supporter) turned out to be the one who kept hounding me about putting Moo on soy formula or pumping only, it was my husband who stood up for me.  

Breastfeeding showed us both somethings.  It showed me that I could follow through on a long term commitment and that he really was my biggest supporter.  It showed him that he wasn't with me because of my boobs.  He was with me because of who I was and not what my assets looked like.

Here I am on round two and he's even more supportive than ever.  We did have a little power struggle early on but like last time he realized breastfeeding was truly what was best for us and JJ.  So, ladies don't give up on breastfeeding if it's what you want to do. So, what your partner or family doesn't support you.  Keep doing it and eventually they'll either get on board or shut up about it.

Men, the same way you like for us to be understanding of your video game and sports habits, we expect the same when it comes to breastfeeding.

Romance Wednesday: Relaxation

Let's face it any lasting and healthy relationship takes work.  And sometimes that work can add stress to an already stressful situation.  I've learned that the best way to deal with that stress is through relaxation.  Often times as couples we forget to take a break from our issues and frustrations.  Then some of us end up in divorce court or worst.

What I learned from the year I took apart from my husband was that when we were stressed or irritated, we kept all those feelings bottled up.  We didn't let go (or at least I didn't).  I'm the type of person who tends to internalize most of my feelings and emotions.  Then I end up reaching a point where I explode.

Well, I just came to the conclusion that I was tired of walking around with a build up of anger.  My husband used to always tell me to relax.  He pointed out that I was always either on the go, working, helping others or worrying about problems that I couldn't fix.  Needless to say I am finally taking his advice after all these years.

Now, I take time to slow down and enjoy some relaxation before I hit rock bottom.  It can be reading a book, writing on my blog, a walk at the park, a trip to the mall or a visit to the nail spa.  And likewise my husband takes time to enjoy himself.  

Don't get so caught up in relationship drama that you let the drama become your relationship.  Take a timeout from everything and relax!

Romance Wednesday: Respect

Although, I've only been married to my husband for ten months, we've been together seven years.  I can tell you that one thing I learned was that a relationship can thrive or last without respect.  And that's something that I think a lot of couples have forgotten.  They don't respect their relationships or their spouses.

For example, I was on Facebook this past week when I stumbled across someone's status that asked whether wives/husbands had an issue with their spouses going to strip clubs.  Of course, I would have an issue with my husband going and he would have an issue with me going.  We're not insecure with our marriage at all.  We respect it.  As Christians, we are both aware that God has commanded us to keep our marriage sacred.

I can't tell you how many people said they actually encourage their spouses to go and check out strip clubs on the regular.  I kind of felt a bit disgusted.  As my husband's wife I would like to hope and know that I am keeping my husband fulfilled sexually so that he doesn't have to feel the need to seek sexual satisfactions from any other source.  Some people will argue that strip clubs are entertainment or places you go to have fun.

I wonder if you're just looking to have fun, why can't you play a board game or go swimming?  So many of us have gotten caught up in the traps set by society.  And we don't know that we're headed down a road of doom until it's too late.  There are ways to keep a relationship spicy and interesting without disrespecting the holy union that it is suppose to be.

When you and your spouse accept the expectations and guidelines for marriage as outlined by your particular religion then you will find that things run a lot smoother.  And in this society when so many couples aren't bothering to fight for their marriages during tough times, it makes sense to minimize those hard times as much as possible.  So, today sit down and ask yourself if you and your spouse are respecting your union and each other?  Are you being a good example of what a great relationship is suppose to be for children and those looking up to you?